In This Diary
by RMCstephAGD
Summary: Partial sequel to Appearances... follows the GinnySnape plot line through their diaries! WIP... R&R please!
1. Ginny's Confessions

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or these characters or blah blah blah. I think you know the drill! A/N- Hey you've found your way here! This is the sequel to Appearances and it will follow along with the Ginny/Snape plotline. If you've just stumbled across this without having read Appearances, I recommend you do so, because you might be a little confused, but read if you must and please review!  
  
"We were strangers starting out on a journey. Never dreaming what we'd have to go through. Now here we are, and I'm suddenly standing, at the beginning with you." ~At the Beginning (Richard Marx and Diana Lewis)   
  
  
  
Chapter 1: Ginny's Confessions  
  
  
It's amazing how things can change in an instant. Two days ago I was a happy, normal, well-adjusted, 17-year-old girl at school. Now I'm a miserable disappointment stuck at home with my parents for a year because I got suspended. And how was I suspended? I got pregnant. And not just by anyone, I might add. I got knocked-up by my potions master. Oh I am a smart one.  
We arrived back at the Burrow for Christmas holidays not too long ago. I've never spent so much time in silence with the Weasley family. No one said anything the entire ride to Diagon Alley and they've all been avoiding me like the plague since we've been back at home. So far the only thing I've been asked is whether or not I'd like some carrots at dinner.  
I can't say that no one's talked to me. Hermione and I are sharing a room again for this visit. Mom is making sure that she's nowhere near Draco without the appropriate chaperone. So we've been talking about my situation some. I'm petrified, because it really doesn't look promising.  
***  
"Has she said anything to you Hermione?" I asked fearfully as I unpacked my trunk for the long year ahead. "Good or bad, I don't care. Just tell me she's spoken!" I turned to her and began to pout.  
Hermione just looked at me for a minute. "She did say something to me earlier," she began. My entire body lifted and sank in the exact same moment. "But it was only about whether or not I still liked spaghetti." I looked away, clearly upset. "I'm telling you, Gin, she hasn't spoken to anyone, not even your father! All she's been doing is cooking everything in the house."  
Throwing a sweater down on my bed, I became exasperated. "What is she trying to do, punish me by not talking and worrying me to death?"  
"I hardly think that not talking is going to be your punishment," Hermione said, sitting down on her bed. "I think there's going to be a lot of talking before any punishment is complete."  
***  
We didn't get to finish the conversation because I had to run to the bathroom and get sick. I can already tell that this baby is not going to be a picnic of any kind.  
I am genuinely worried about my mother in this new situation. She's the one person who always has something to say about whatever the problem is, and now she just cooks and cleans. We ate the best meal I've had at home in quite some time, but that only makes me more concerned. At the risk of sounding selfish, I need her, desperately. I need her more than I could ever need Severus at this time in my life. About to have a child and still so young, I feel like I'm lost in a giant sea of adulthood and I have no life preserver. She's always told me what to do or to say, when to go to the doctor, how to eat right, and by what standards I should live my life. Now I'm so afraid that she's shut me out for good.  
***  
"Mum, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked her as she stirred a pot viciously.  
No reply. She grabbed a vial of some seasoning and shook the contents into the pot with all her strength. The overwhelming odor stung my nose and eyes. I noticed her eyes watered too.  
I took a small step closer to her and looked up at her with tears in my eyes. "Mum, please," I begged. "I need to talk to you about something."  
Still nothing.  
Tears began to stream down my face as she stood there, stirring and ignoring. I felt helpless and alone. "Mum!" I cried out in one last desperate attempt to bring her back down to Earth.  
"Virginia, please!" she shouted at me. Glancing at me for only a moment, she winced and turned back to her pot.  
***  
And so here I am. Alone. Just Ginny.  
I don't know if I'll be welcome in this house very much longer; if my parents can stand the sight of me. Maybe I can beg Dumbledore to let me back into Hogwarts. Or I could even turn to Severus if the situation got so bad. He wouldn't turn me out; at least I don't think he would, not if I have his baby. Would he? 


	2. Snape's Exile

Disclaimer: Don't own HP or anything like that. that's why this is called FANfiction (  
  
Chapter 2: Snape's Exile  
  
Damn. These rotten damn children with their whiney dispositions and pathetic annoyances have seen me for the very last time. I hate them all. I never should have taken that job. I could still be a prominent potions master. I could still be a Death Eater. I could still be.  
She's taken my soul with her, not that anyone really thinks that I had one to begin with. When we parted so horribly, she took a piece of me with her, the only piece that had the propensity for any sort of good anymore. It's only been a few days and I don't know what I'm going to do without her.  
I've spent the past day hiding in Diagon Alley. I don't really know what I'm hiding from. Death Eaters still roaming free? Other professors? Myself? If I'm hiding from myself I'm clearly not doing a very good job of it. Here I am. Come and get me, conscience.  
Having no one else to talk to, I've spent the past day in deep reflection. What I've realized is that I feel guilty, a very new emotion for me. I had to look it up in a book before I could fathom what was happening. I've decided that I want to do right by Ginny, to make it up to her somehow, to show her that I do love her.  
***  
I paced around my room for an hour, my cloaks billowed around me, and I got tired of them. I didn't want to see any more black. In an effort to rid myself of the dismal color, I tore off my robes and dug into my bag, searching for the one pair of denim pants and a navy blue t-shirt that I owned. I decided that I needed to get new muggle clothes.  
In my frantic search through the bag, I noticed that crumpled up letter that the infernal house elf had given me. I looked at it and recognized the handwriting, but in my state of disarray I determined to read it later.  
Instead, I stuffed it back in my bag and lay down on my bed in the old tavern and curled up. The bed was warm and the fireplace was roaring in my ears. Sleep came to me quickly, but my dreams haunted me. They always haunt me, but it was worse. They had Ginny. They held her tight, and she held a bundle in her arms even tighter. The black haired, greasy monsters clung to her. She cried out, and another cry came from the bundle. Then a man came, he vanquished the monsters with one spell and rescued my Ginny. My Ginny. She opened her arms to show him the bundle, and there I was. A baby with my face.  
***  
I woke in a cold sweat. I was Ginny's baby. What had I become to her, what had she become to me? I had to get out of there. I needed to leave London, to leave England. Anywhere where she was would be the worst thing for both of us.  
Without a second thought I jumped out of bed and shoved all of my belongings back into my bag and tore down the steps of the tavern. I threw some knuts on the bar and left onto the streets of London.  
I hadn't entered the muggle world in so long. I must have looked like an absolute outsider to the passersby. My wrinkled, greasy, and annoyed appearance made people stare as they walked by.  
Things have to change, and fast. I can't keep running from whoever isn't really chasing me. 


	3. The Virtue of Older Brothers

Chapter 3: The Virtue of Older Brothers  
  
Bill, Charlie, Fred, and George came home today. I am so happy that I at least have some family members on my side.  
***  
They all walked through the door at the same time. Smiling and hugging Mum and Dad, they never looked happier to me. I couldn't help smiling through all the pain I felt.  
"Gin!" Charlie said, scooping me up and spinning me.  
I smiled, but truth be told I almost threw up all over him. Let me just say that morning sickness bites.  
"I'm so happy you're all home!" I said, tears coming to my eyes as I knew the horrible truth had to come out sooner or later.  
Fred and George smiled their identical smiles at me as mischief played in their eyes. "London's fun, but it's good to come back to your roots every now and again," George said.  
"Yeah," Fred began. "If it wasn't for you guys, we'd never have been bored enough to start playing practical jokes."  
Mum, still obviously upset after four days, just shot them a look. But she invited everyone in and began to make tea for everyone.  
We all sat down in the living room. The boys all talked simultaneously about what they had been up to and asking how our holiday had been so far. Mum's arrival with tea and Christmas cakes silenced everyone for a few moments, but the inevitable questioning still started up.  
Bill swallowed a mouthful of cake and turned to me. "So, how's school going for you, Gin?" he asked intently. "How's your test preparation been?"  
I didn't know what to say. My mouth went dry and I felt like I was about to vomit. Again. "My classes and test prep have been going fine," I said shakily. My cup of tea nearly spilled, my hands were shaking so much. "Everything's fine."  
"And I'm sure she'll do even better after a year of practical experience for when she goes back next spring," Dad said.  
My face went pale and I jumped out of my seat. As fast as my legs would carry me, I went to the bathroom and wretched. From the bathroom I could hear Bill and Charlie asking Dad what he had meant by that comment and Dad, realizing what he had done, trying to cover up his mistake.  
I walked back into the room, still looking somewhat green, and conversation halted completely. All eyes in the room were locked on my every move. Mum looked at me as if to say "you made your bed now lie in it." So I did.  
"I'm sure you're all wondering why Dad said I'm not going back to school until next spring," I said slowly.  
"Just a little," Fred commented.  
I ignored him and continued. "I got suspended for a year." I paused for my brothers to gasp and ask a million questions that would be shortly answered. "I was suspended for some illicit behaviors that ended up with my becoming pregnant." This part, though, silenced them completely.  
Charlie got up and walked over to me, completely silent still. He leaned down and took me in his arms, holding me tightly. "Are you ok?" he whispered in my ear.  
Overwhelmed by his compassion, something that my parents clearly did not show me, I burst into tears and held onto him tightly. Bill, Fred, and George came over and each took a turn consoling me and wiping my tears away.  
***  
I never thought having older brothers could really be good for anything. I got beat up on a lot growing up, and always had higher expectations because I was the lady of the family. But sometimes those immature boys who belched and made fun of each other really do grow up to be men. 


	4. Gone

Chapter 4: Gone  
  
I'm free. It's completely done; I'm completely done. I've left that Godforsaken country and everything about it behind. Two days ago I stepped onto that airplane an old, tired, miserable, disgusting man. I stepped off reborn.  
Paris has been nothing but wonderful to me since I've arrived.  
***  
The air smelled sweet at night, like bread and butter. I passed the cafes with the happy couples sharing a cup of coffee. It was the first moment since my arrival that I thought of her. And at that moment I thought that not even thousands of miles between us could get her out of my mind.  
Slightly despondent I found an inexpensive hotel and slept for the night. A deep sleep that I didn't think my body was capable of experiencing. When I awoke the next morning, I vowed that I needed something more than a change of scenery. I needed a change in personality.  
For the third day in a row, I put on my faded jeans and navy tee shirt and set out to find a new version of myself. I didn't really know what I was looking for, but it turned out what I needed found me.  
A sweet looking old Parisian woman was standing outside of a salon when she spotted me. "Zut!" she cried at me. "Vat is wrong vis you?" With a hint of disgust in her eyes she looked me up and down. "You look like you just crawled out of bed!"  
"I did," I snarled slightly. I don't take well to criticisms.  
"Vell, come vis me and I vill fix you up quickly. Come come!" she cried and, hesitantly, took my hand, dragging me into the salon.  
She practically threw me down into the chair and forced my head into a sink. I would be lying if I said that the warm water and gentle hands on my scalp didn't feel like Heaven right then. "Now, you can't peek at vat I am going to do to you."  
I smirked slightly. "I'm in your capable hands," I said.  
At the end of an hour and a half I had never felt better about myself. She had processed and hacked at my hair, filed and trimmed my finger and toenails, and scrubbed and goo-ed my face until I felt like the king of England.  
"Zere you go," she smiled proudly. "You look like a real young man now!" When she held up the mirror, I didn't even recognize myself. I looked twenty, not sixty with a poor dye job.  
Then I did the unthinkable. I stood up and hugged the old woman. I hugged someone.  
I paid her for her services (and added a very nice tip if I do say so myself) and left for the streets of Paris once again, feeling even more rejuvenated than before.  
***  
Until today I had never known that a simple haircut and a facial could change someone's outlook on life so completely. I'll tell you that I will be going back to see her, and often.  
***  
I wondered the streets for an hour or so, taking in my surroundings. I had been holed up in that dungeon for so long that I had forgotten how beautiful Paris was in the winter.  
Then it hit me; it was winter. After almost a week of being a numb robot, the makeover had left me feeling alive again, and I must say, quite cold. I even realized that there was snow on the ground. To be honest, I don't know how I could have missed that one.  
My job was then to find myself some proper muggle attire. Completely unaware of current muggle fashions, I walked into the first store that looked like it had winter garb. I shivered slightly as the burst of warm air coming out from the store hit me.  
A man walked up to me and began to make friendly chitchat about the weather and how I must be freezing without a coat. "I don't generally need a coat where I'm from," I said grudgingly.  
"Oh, a sozern (southern in case anyone missed that one.) man!" he said. He looked me up and down. "A little pale?"  
I just rolled my eyes. "Nevermind," I said. "Could you please help me find some suitable winter clothing?"  
After another two hours had gone by, I had spent almost 400 francs on a new muggle wardrobe. Expensive, yes, but I don't think black is really my color anymore, if you know what I mean.  
***  
After my "shopping spree," as women around me have affectionately termed spending way too much money, I returned to my hotel and turned on the television. Life is so different in the muggle world. Their problems are so different from ours. I don't know what I want to do now.  
I can stay in the muggle world for a while, take a break and rediscover myself. Or I could apply for a job at Beauxbatons. Mdm. Maxime would most likely give me a job, or so I would like to think. As of yet I have still not decided. I guess I'll sleep on it. 


	5. The Bond of a Mother

A/N- I know this is a short chapter. but it needed to be said and the format didn't really flow with the rest of what I wanted to put in the chapter. so I'm separating it. (  
  
Chapter 5: The Bond of a Mother  
  
It's only been a few weeks since the conception of this baby and already I feel bonded to it. Writing that seems a little ridiculous even to myself. I don't even know whether it's a boy or a girl. But regardless of gender or magical talent, I can feel this child growing inside me. With every breath I feel it needs me to survive. With every breath I know I made the right decision to keep this baby.  
Now, my bond with my unborn child is strengthening by the second, but the bond with my own mother seems to be only getting worse. It's been six days. Six whole days and she hasn't said a single word to me aside from "pass the potatoes."  
I know I've said this before, but I need her so desperately right now. She's gone through seven births, so I pretty much consider her an expert. Not only that, I want her to be close to her first grandchild. I feel that ignoring me will only lead to a Percy-like situation as soon as the baby is born and I'm back at Hogwarts.  
I'm even beginning to doubt whether or not she'll allow me to go back to Hogwarts. I can just see the tension mounting now.  
*hypothetical dream sequence*  
"Mum, I'm so excited to go back to Hogwarts in a few weeks!"  
She just looks at me with contempt and then at the baby lying in his/her playpen a few feet away. "What about the baby?" she asks. Her first words in close to a year. "I'm not taking care of it. This is your mess."  
I just look back at her sadly. "But Mum, I can't take the baby back to Hogwarts! I want to so badly, but Professor Dumbledore just won't allow it!"  
She glares. "Well, I guess you're not going back then." She turns her back on me. "Start looking for somewhere else to live."  
*end hypothetical dream sequence*  
It frightens me just to think about what she's going to do or say when next year rolls around. She hasn't spoken to Percy in years!  
I'm hoping against hope that she'll come around soon. Hoping her heart will win out and find a place for me again and for my baby. 


	6. The Road Less Traveled

Chapter 6: The Road Less Traveled  
  
Generally speaking, if you've grown up in the magical world, the transition to the muggle world is difficult, if not impossible. There have only been a handful of wizards and witches who have made the switch and have not returned to the magical fold.  
Today I made the switch. I tossed away my old life: my friends, however few that might have been, my profession, the comfort of magic. My wand, robes, potions books, and everything else left over from the fiasco that was my magical life are now sitting in a safe deposit box in a Parisian bank.  
There are only three things that tie me to the old world anymore. My name, Severus Snape. Who I was, who I am, and who I always will be. That is something I can't hide or put away in a box. The Dark Mark, the symbol of my past, my bad past. It is something burned into my very skin, something I overcame. This is my symbol of strength. Ginny. She is in my head at all times, no matter how hard I tried to erase her. Our indiscretions gave me this second chance. She liberated me in more ways than I even know yet. I don't want to get rid of her, ever. She will live in my brain. She is my conscience. She is.  
I went to find a job today, only to find that I am the most overqualified, yet under qualified, applicant in the history of this city. My lack of professional training or muggle schooling leads people to believe that I am unintelligent, when in fact my chemistry skills are far superior to most.  
For now, I'm working in a library. It's quiet and I can read most of the day. It doesn't pay spectacularly, but neither did Hogwarts. I suppose I'm going to have to start taking classes if I want a better job. That's a quest for another day, though.  
And my small hotel room is turning into quite a lovely apartment. Its on the inexpensive side, so I can keep up my residence for a while.  
I still have more things to sort through that need to go in that safe deposit box. I had only thrown the most visible forms of my previous life in there. My bag of clothing from Hogwarts still needs to go. But again, that's a job for another day. 


	7. Time To Say Goodbye

Chapter 7: Time To say Goodbye  
  
I've been here a month. Christmas has come and gone and it seems entirely hopeless. My mother still won't speak to me, no matter how many times I've tried, no matter how many tantrums I've thrown in a feeble attempt to get her to look at me. She doesn't want me, or the baby.  
Dad tries, he really does. He looks out for me a little too much though, making sure I don't strain myself or get too upset. Every time I get upset over Mum, he insists that I go back to bed. He thinks I'm too frail to do anything anymore. But I guess that's my own fault.  
Bill, Charlie, Fred, and George have all come and gone. I'm sure it was the most awkward Christmas that they could have experienced. When they left last week, they took with them the last shred of normalcy in this house. They were the only ones who didn't treat me like a pariah or someone who needed to be coddled.  
Ron for the most part ignores me. Mainly because he doesn't know what to say to me. I don't really blame him. He never knew what to say to me before the baby either. I guess that's just Ron for you. Harry, bless his soul, asked me to marry him. Mum spoke up then. Immediately afterwards she told me it would be a wonderful idea and that there could be some stability in our lives after the baby was born. When I said no, she told Harry he was only hurting himself by trying to help me. I've never seen her so cold.  
Hermione and Draco. Now those two are so in love. They've made an effort to be there for me and to treat me like a normal person, but I can't stand to be around them. Every time I see the sparkle in their eyes it reminds me of what I lost. What was ruined by my carelessness and Ron's stupidity. Severus' stupidity. I miss being in love. I miss him.  
Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Draco leave in a few days to return to Hogwarts. I loathe not being able to go with them, but I have no other choice. I can't even see them off. Dad thinks I'm too weak and Mum doesn't want to have to deal with me in the car.  
After I say my goodbyes, I'm leaving. I'm throwing in the towel, so to speak. Perhaps I'll stay with Fred and George for a while. I know they won't toss me out or tell on me to Mum and Dad. While I'm gone, I'm going to look for Severus. I know now that I need him, and that this baby needs him too. And I think that out there somewhere, he needs me too. 


	8. Love

Chapter 8: Love  
  
That infernal beeping. It wouldn't stop ringing in my ears, my skull, and every last fiber of my body. No matter how many buttons I pressed or light switches I switched, it wouldn't stop. The sound pounded in my brain driving me to insanity. That's when I called the front lobby.  
I expected incompetence from the maintenance person, after all, if I couldn't figure out what the noise was, who else would be able to. When the knock came at my door fifteen minutes, or an eternity, later, I was taken completely by surprise by who I found.  
There she was. Tall and slender, those beautiful green eyes and infectious smile. Her long blond hair shone in the horrible fluorescent lighting. "Hello Mr. Snape," she bubbled. "I'm terribly sorry but our maintenance worker isn't in today."  
The inconvenience almost didn't bother me when the news was delivered from her perfect mouth.  
She continued on. "But I do know a bit about handiwork, even though I'm just the receptionist. I figured I can give it a try."  
"What's the worst that could happen?" I joked. I joked. The words came from my mouth in an unrecognizable tone. Realizing my poor manners, I invited her in.  
She began searching about the hotel room, peeking in and out of every possible corner trying to find the source of the sound. I found myself watching her. The way her hips swayed slightly when she walked, the way she raked her hands through her hair in frustration, it all captivated me.  
Finally she found it. "Look," she said, calling me out of my daze and over to her. "It's this thing over here," she said pointing to something sticking out of a socket. "To be honest I don't even know what it is!" she laughed.  
It filled me up, that gorgeous noise that was her voice. "Is there a button to press or something?" I asked, looking over her shoulder and taking in her scent, perfume and hotel.  
"Yeah, right here," she said. She leaned in to press it and the worst happened. It got louder. Much much louder. "Oh no!" she cried.  
Without thinking, I took her hand and ran out the door, covering one ear with my free hand. When we were outside, the sound muffled through the door, we both began to laugh. "Looks like you didn't fix it," I said.  
"I'm so sorry, Mr. Snape. I thought I could help." She pouted slightly. "And there aren't even any rooms left open in the hotel. I'm sorry." We just stood there in silence for a moment. "It's alright. Thank you for trying to help anyway."  
She bit her lip and looked up at me. "I hope you don't find this very forward, but if you'd like, you can stay with me in my room. I have a couch, and you don't have any other place I can put you."  
I smiled at her. "That would be lovely, thank you."  
And here I am, on her couch, watching her sleep. 


	9. Running Away From Me

Chapter 9: Running Away From Me  
  
I am running. Not literally, of course. I'm not a big fan. Bad knees; much prefer brooms as a mode of transportation. But I am, none the less, running away from everything. And I don't think I've had to do anything this hard in my entire life. That might change once the baby arrives, but for right now, I feel so alone and lost.  
Seeing everyone leave this morning for Hogwarts was one of the most painful things I've had to witness in my short life. Saying goodbye then looking at their sad, yet eager faces as they got into the car to go to the station brought on a waterfall of tears that I've never been able to produce before. I don't even know who was hardest to say goodbye to.  
Draco tried, he really did. No matter how many times I told him that I was alright, he never believed me. When he said goodbye, he gave me a hug that I never dreamed was possible coming from someone who had been so cold and callous only a short time ago. From him, I know I'll always know that people can change. We aren't always who we were programmed to be.  
Without fail, Harry made me cry first. "Ginny, I swear that if you want, I will marry you and be the best father to this baby that I can be. We can even get married before the baby is born."  
At that, I burst into tears. "Don't sell yourself short," I whispered. "Marry someone who'll give you babies that are yours, and only yours."  
He smiled weakly and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Be strong," he said. Then he got in the car.  
From Ron I saw the most emotion that I think he is capable. He cried. "If you need me for anything, just owl me," he said through a few stray tears. "You're my baby sister and I'll do anything you ask."  
Of course, I couldn't hold back my own emotions and threw myself into his arms. "I love you Ron, and I'm going to miss you." Then he left me.  
I guess I do know the hardest person to say goodbye to. Hermione. She didn't even speak a word as she held me and we just cried. After a few minutes and the gentle prodding of my father, she kissed my forehead and waved back at me as she got into the car.  
"By Mum. Dad," I said as they got into the car after my friends. I took a picture in my mind of how they all looked waving to me. I ignored the look on my mother's face and imagined a smile like the ones she used to give me when she would take my brothers to the station before I got into Hogwarts.  
A cloud of dust blew up and the car sped off into the distance, leaving me alone to pack and take my leave of the Burrow possibly forever.  
An hour and a thousand tears later, I took my clothes and what little money I had and flu powdered myself to Diagon Alley. For now, I've rented a room in the Leaky Cauldron, but in the morning I plan to find my brothers in their store. I'll Hermione and my parents in the morning to let them know I'm at least safe.  
Right now its just cold. 


	10. Aly

Chapter 10: Aly  
  
Her name is Aly. I didn't even find out until this morning that the blond woman whom I watched sleep for hours had a name. Aly. It sounds like one of those awful Muggle teenage cheerleader's names. But when it rolled off her perfectly pink and full lips, I could not picture a better name for her.  
She even made me breakfast. After the age of five my mother never even made me breakfast.  
  
"How do you like your eggs, Mr. Snape?" she called from the kitten in her apartment. I was only just opening my eyes, but I could picture her in her flannel pants and oversized Euro Disney sweatshirt with her tousled blond hair in a bun standing in the doorway looking at me. As my eyes focused, I was not disappointed in my fantasy.  
"Over easy," I said a little gruffly, still trying to clear the morning from my throat. She just smiled and returned to the kitchen. "And by the way," I called out a little louder as I hear the tea kettle go off, "you can call me Severus."  
"Severus?" she asked from the kitchen. I got off the couch and made my way to the doorframe. "What kind of a name is Severus?"  
Her sweetness and sincerity made my heart beat faster for just a moment, but her ignorance of what I was... still am... angered me slightly. But honestly, how could she know? "It's Roman," I said. "My mother loved the classics."  
She shrugged. "Well, I like it. It's different, old, unique. Not like my name."  
"Which I never actually caught," I interrupted.  
She blushed and put her face in her hands. "It's Aly," she laughed. "Short for Alyson." She looked up sheepishly and her green eyes caught mine. Holding out her hand to me she smiled and reddened. "Nice to meet you Severus."  
  
I was sorry when 9 am rolled around and I had to leave for work. She kissed my cheek on the way out the door, and I'm still not sure whether it was French courtesy and friendship or hidden behind her blush there's something more.  
Even though I felt as if I were on cloud nine, the walk to the library was riddled with thoughts of Ginny. Every day I expect her to show up at my door or in the library ready to forgive my stupidity.  
But a month has gone by and I've heard nothing and Aly is great. Maybe it is finally time to give Ginny up for good and concentrate on finding someone else. I have a while to figure it out I guess. As long as Aly doesn't plan on going anywhere.  
Aly. 


	11. A Place To Call My Own

A/N Hey guys! Sorry it's taken so long for me to update :( But here's another installment of In This Diary... leave me some feedback... better, worse, longer? let me know!

Chapter 11: A Place to Call My Own

I thank my lucky stars that I have brothers like Fred and George, who were obviously a little more than devious in their own days. Or still. Much to both of my parent's dismay I took after the pranksters in the family, so where else would I go when I needed to run out. They ran out on school after all.

"Gin," Fred had said. "What in God's name are you doing here?"

"Have you lost your bloody mind?" George asked. They were both very surprised to see me, but after a little sucking up and pulling the little sister card I was in.

They treat me like a real pregnant woman should be treated. Since I've been here it's been all tea and putting my feet up. Of course I do feel the need to help out, I'm no freeloader. So I've been working the counter for a few weeks now. Except of course when Mum and Dad came.

I had been in the back room cleaning up a faulty batch of Galloping Gumdrops that bounced once and exploded everywhere when they came into the shop. It was the day after they had taken everyone back to the train.

"Have you seen your sister boys?" Dad asked. "Hermione owled us this morning to say she had received a message from Ginny saying she was all right but she had to leave home." Fred and George just sat there looking innocent. "We checked the Leaky Cauldron and they said she was there last night but don't know where she went this morning.

Mum was just looking around and out in the street, up and down Diagon Alley as if I would just appear from thin air. She should know I'm way too young to apparate yet. "Boys please," I heard her say. "If you see her, please tell her to come home."

For the first time since my news she looked genuinely concerned. My stupid hormones began to rage so that I almost went flying out into her arms. But I figured I'd be in even more trouble now for running away. So I held my ground behind a box, waiting for them to leave.

It took George and Fred two days after that to give up on trying to get me to go home. "They're really worried about you," they would both say. At dinner, walking past me in the store, before they'd deliver a cup of tea.

"You don't know how they treated me!" I would yell, depending on my frustration level. Then they would shut up for a while. But they eventually got over it and now here the three of us are, happily enjoying all of the stages of pregnancy together like siblings should.


	12. Maybe

Chapter 12: Maybe

Maybe, I've been thinking recently that, maybe I could be happy with my new life. Maybe I could learn to forget Ginny. Even though things have been progressing quite nicely with Aly for some strange reason I can't shake Ginny. Maybe we should take this farther.

Aly has been the sunshine of my life in Paris. For weeks now it's been nothing but little cafes and walks in the twighlight. When it starts to snow she always dances in circles around me like a child, trying to catch each and every snowflake on her tongue, cheeks, and eyelashes. And then she'll smile at me with her white teeth and warm eyes and I'm sure that the snow melts before it even touches her.

She came to the library to see me the other day. It was the first time anyone had called for me and when the head librarian told me I had a visitor I half expected a petite redhead to be standing there waiting for me. Instead I was greeted by the leggy blond. Not a total letdown.

For some ungodly reason she decided that she wanted to take me shopping that afternoon, something I hadn't done since my first day in the city. Her favorite place was some absurdly named and ridiculously overpriced store called Dior. All I got was a scarf and even that cost almost a month's salary. Aly is apparently much better off than I because she later surprised me with a leather jacket from the store that I can't even fathom the cost of.

Because of her gesture and my inability to shake Ginny I decided to surprise her with an overpriced trinket of her own. While back at Dior or someplace, I could have been at another store for all I know of fashion, it was my unpleasant fortune to run into my first reminder of the magical world I had left behind.

"Severus?" A woman's voice from behind me. "It is you! How good to see you!" she said.

It was a professor I had in Hogwarts so many years ago. And here she was, right in the middle of Dior with me and no place to hide. "Madam Greenwright," I answered her congenially. "How good to see you."

She stopped in her tracks. "Severus? So polite now! The last I saw you, you were a whiney little brat. I see you wash your hair now too."

It was so good to see her. "Yes, I've done a bit of growing up," I said.

We chatted mindlessly for a few moments before I realized that I had told her I left the school and was living as a Muggle in Paris. She didn't seem fazed by the news so I figured she hadn't really heard it. After saying our goodbyes and well wishes we headed on our separate paths, and mine led back to Aly.

She loved the necklace I bought her. As I helped her put it on I thought of Ginny. As she kissed me I thought of Ginny. Maybe one day I can get her out of my head. Maybe I can't.


End file.
